The Joys of the Absentee Ballot

ivotedabsenteeI spent a good part of my Sunday filling out my absentee ballot and I must tell you that once you’ve voted this way, there’s no turning back. First of all, they don’t provide/offer/support bringing snacks or beverages of any sort into the polling place, but I had it all as I spread my two-foot long ballot on the counter top in my basement. I’m not complaining about the length of the ballot, but I read the entire Cheescake Factory menu in less time. When you’re faced with considering such important decisions at the polling place you feel rushed and the eyes of those waiting in line piercing your back in hopes of vaporizing your body just so they can use your little booth or enclosure and take their own time filling in the little boxes.

Ah yes…the boxes! Really? In an age where a little camera-car on Mars can be operated from Earth, they can’t come up with a more efficient way to fill out a ballot?

But at home, glorious in my absenteeism, I can have some fun spreading out 14 different pens and Sharpies and choosing different ones for different races…all while stuffing my face with Fritos. This is democracy in action!

In between swills of Shiner Octoberfest I carefully considered the candidates and the issues, although, I honestly had my mind made up beforehand after doing my due diligence, including sensible snack/beverage/referendum pairings. 

I probably took an hour to complete my ballot because one simply doesn’t rush such momentous undertakings and I take great pride in my box-filling abilities, never straying beyond the lines. 

By the time I was done I felt totally fulfilled, and full….with a bit of a buzz. Don’t get me wrong. I take voting very seriously. I won’t get on a soapbox supporting one party or position, except for the position that voting is everyone’s right and responsibility and should be one of those calendar entries that’s set in stone. Don’t vote? Don’t complain.

However, it was really nice just being able to take my time in the comfort of my home without the old guy at the  polling place scolding me about not tearing off the tab or inserting my ballot incorrectly into the machine. “You’re wrong! You’re wrong! Whatsmatterwitu kid!” Yeah..don’t miss that. What I do miss getting that little “I Voted” sticker. But I did vote. And so should you..wherever you are. Absentee or in-person. Just don’t be absent…and bring a good pen. 

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