Trump and Hill are busily narrowing down their choices for running mates. The best choice would seem to be one that’s both complimentary and complementary to the top of the ticket offering constant support when needed. As a good citizen I have decided to offer some suggestions.

For Trump, a large mirror available at a moment’s notice to reflect back his own image, so when Donald nods yes, his running mate would do the same. Indeed, a mirror could never have a mind of its own since it must mind whatever is facing it. That makes it convenient for the mirror’s master to be compliant in every way without the ability to act on its own. This seems like the perfect partner for a man who would appreciate a fresh bouquet of narcissus on his desk each day.

For Hill, the clear choice would be a bail bondsman. There is little that is more inconvenient than having to search for someone to spring you from the slammer, especially after hours. Even a “chance” meeting between bubba hubby and the U.S. Attorney General won’t do the trick, especially if the judge has already headed for the first tee. Can you imagine if Hill is POTUS and smack in the middle of a meeting with Putin she’s busted, tossed in stir and has to holler, through an interpreter, “hold that thought, Vladdy! I’ll be back as soon as I make bail!” Indeed, it won’t be long since Veep Murray Scheister, the bail bondsman will be on the spot.

Of course, when all else fails, there’s always a stuffed panda. Who doesn’t like a panda? And panda-ring is what DC is all about anyway.