White Hanukkah? Who Dreamt That?

This isn’t going according to the script. Who dreams of a white Hanukkah? Certainly not me. In the spirit of my heritage snow falling on a Jewish holiday can only mean one thing—a new reason to kvetch. What? I’m supposed to schlep to the deli for pastrami, rye and latkes for our first night meal when it’s cold and slippery?

Yeah, yeah, I’ll do it because my family depends on me to provide, but honestly, my wife’s a shiksa so she doesn’t exactly have skin in the game. Or so you’d think. But after 48 years of marriage she’s come to embrace our customs—especially those involving fatty smoked meats heavy baked goods and the implied accompaniment of sweet wine.

On Passover she sits through the seder to both respect my holiday and snag four glasses of Manischewitz… as directed in the Hagaddah. She now believes in the “associative law of Jewish holiday imbibing,” which she interprets as “who cares what holiday, pour the wine!”

It’s not enough to make her convert but compelling enough to win her blind obedience. In turn, I participate in ravenous ingestion of her incomparable honey and anise Christmas cookies. We must respect each other’s faiths and customs!

So here it is, the first night of Hanukkah with the snow falling. It’s not much. I stuck my finger in the flakes accumulated in my driveway and they’re barely deep enough to cover my first knuckle. Of course I did this without my gloves on so now I can kvetch about how cold my finger/snow gauge is. I was advised by my caring family to stick it somewhere warm. I love the holidays!

But let’s face it, at heart I’m a sucker for a snow scene, since that’s the background my mother chose when she had my picture taken at the department store photo studio in 1962. The photo is long gone. The scars aren’t.

That’s all tsurus under the bridge. We will enjoy the view…from the warmth of our home, light the candles then settle into binging episodes of “Superstore” because this holiday is all about miracles and when no one expected this wonderful, wacky series to last more than one season, it lasted six. A blessing!

To all who celebrate, enjoy your Hanukkah. To those who don’t…feh! Nah..I’ll see you at Christmas…maybe it’ll be white, just the way you sickies like it.

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